I got locked in Walmart

Heather came to work with me yesterday because we got her $enior pic$ taken and we were on our way home when Sonya called to ask me to stop to get strawberry-kiwi-apple juice and club soda so she could make a concoction she heard about at school that had 0 calories, 0 fat and was "very nutritious" because it was made with 100% juice. I told her I wasn't stopping tonight, it was already late, I'd had a long day and I was ready to get home. Oh, please she said, then Heather said she needed to stop for a few things she "had to have" before tomorrow anyway. Fine, we'll stop, but we're running in and out - 5 minutes - TOPS!!!!!! Fine!

We run in - go get the juice and I remember we need bleach so we run to the back of the store and hear "Code Black", "Code Black" (What the hell does that mean?) "All customers and associates to the back of the store immediately!" "Oh Crap!" So we go to the back of the store, and people are saying there is a tornado warning, the sirens are going off in town. (We live in a very small town, very rural - so we get this alot.) So, they tell us we cannot leave, they've locked the doors and we must all stay back here until they give us the "all clear".

I tell Heather I'm not staying back here all night, this is ridiculous. They can't keep us locked in Walmart, can they? What if I call the police? Will they let us out? How can they do this? Then Colby calls, crying! Darrell is gone. Colby & Sonya are home alone. He is 11, she is 9. He only left at 6:25 and it's now 6:45, but still - there's a tornado coming and they're scared and he's not home and I'm freakin' pissed!!!!! I start calling him, texting him, Heather's on the phone with Colby calming him down, telling him to go in the basement, it'll be fine. Finally, Darrell gets back home about 10 minutes later, but we're still in Walmart. And he says "Yeah, right - like you're locked in Walmart - (like he doesn't believe me). "You need to get home!" And I said "You need to bite me - you should have been home all this time - I'll get there as soon as I get out of this place. Trust me I don't want to be locked in Walmart with all these people!"

So, I'm getting ready to throw a fit to get out of there and some "associates" come back there all walking in a line real official-like and tell us we need to move even further back like into the warehouse part. The weather is getting worse. OK, now I'm kinda getting scared. After about 30 minutes, I start to feel OK again and my sis-in-law is texting me that the sirens have stopped and it's not even raining, but they won't let us go. They are pssing out Oatmeal Creme Pies and cups of water. I'm really getting pissed.

There are no managers back there with us, only minions so I go up to them and I say "Look, I'm not staying any longer and you can't keep me here. I'll call the police if necessary, but I need to get home to my other children and I've just spoken to someone on the outside and she says the weather has calmed down so I am leaving RIGHT NOW!!!!" And he said "sure, you're free to go - just go tell the manager and he will unlock the door for you, you can't buy anythign though" WHAT? you mean, I've been sitting back here for almost an hour and I could have left the whole time as long as I didn't buy anything?

So fine, Heather and I get up and start walking out. We are badasses too. We're gonna break free - then we heard the biggest, loudest clap of thunder you ever heard and lightening struck across the sky so that it lit up the store even through the sky roof and the heavens opened up and dumped rain on the roof and it poured and poured and pelted the roof like bullets. We stopped in our tracks. I looked at Heather and she looked at me and I said, I don't know if we should leave and she said "mommy, I don't want to go out there" (remember, she's 17) so we put our tail between our legs and went back to sit on the floor of the warehouse with the others. I said to the guy next to me when we went back in "I changed my mind" and he said "I would have chickened out, too".

Some badass I am, huh?

The tornado warning finally passed at 8:45 (we were there for two hours) and the rest of the evening was fairly uneventful. - as if I needed anything else:)