Moms

I lost my mom to lung cancer when I was 22. My daughter was 2 and I was 5 months pregnant with my son. My mother was the greatest grandmother anyone could ever have and I so wish she were here for my kids. She was so loving and would have been such a great part of their lives.

My mother-in-law is quite a bit different than my mom. For one, she is 70 and my mom would have been 53 (she died when she was 38) so they came from very different times and my mil loves my kids and she loves me. She has always treated Heather and I as part of this family and never treated Heather one iota differently than any of her other grandkids and for that I love her dearly. I think that God knew he was going to need my mom in Heaven and that my own dad is a schmuck, so he gave me Darrell's parents to keep as my own:) Anyway, she loves in her own way and loves somewhat differently than my mom. In the past, this has bugged me a little, OK, sometimes alot - we've heard it 100 times - she said she raised her kids and didn't want to raise anymore. OK, she has about 32 or 33 grandkids (I lost count) so I can see where she may get overwhelmed with kids.

Also, she insists on everything being equal for her kids and grandkids, which really means nobody really gets anything (they're on a fixed income - very lowly fixed). This is fine too except that only 3 of her 7 kids do anything for her - help her with EVERYTHING and constantly do for her and she doesn't even see half of her grandkids - I mean, she has not seen half of them in at least 10 years. So I don't understand why my kids can't get something really special from their grandma now and then (even if it's something she picks up at a yardsale) but she's afraid the others will get mad. She is getting better at this as we've been kind of talking to her gently about it. She gave me some Glade plug-ins she didn't want and tried to give me some canisters I didn't want. She also bought me some glasses at a yardsale when I mentioned that I didn't have that many, so she is getting better. EDITED - This sounds really bitchy and I didn't mean it to sound like I want all these material things, but I don't have time to reword it now. Just so you know I don't mean to be bitchy:)

Anyway, this is not why I started this conversation. (Is it technically a conversation if you're blogging it?) Anyway, we found out a couple of weeks ago that she has a spot on her lung that they're pretty sure is cancer. We'll find out more tomorrow. I love this woman, of course she irritates me sometimes, but so did my own mother (I just have to remember that sometimes when I begin to put her on a pedestal) Everyone gets irritated with their mothers & especially their mil's right? I just hope and pray that everything turns out alright with her. It would be like losing two moms to this terrible disease and I know her kids will go crazy without her. I hope this is a scare that brings us all closer together and helps us remember what family is for.

I just wanted to reflect on my two moms and how much I love them both and how much I hate that damned lung cancer.