Bad, Bad Blogger

I've been a bad blogger. I love to talk (write) and tell people about things that go on in my life, but for some reason lately, I just haven't felt like I have anything to say here. I open it up first thing every morning and read everyone else's blog, but I haven't commented or blogged myself.

Last week a very dear friend of mine lost her mother. This woman was very special to me when I was a teenager - she was a really good soul and she will be missed by her children tremendously. She had 3 grown children and 5 grandchildren. These next few weeks or months even will be really hard for my friend and I hope I can find the strenth to be there for her. The funeral was tough for me because I lost my own mother in November 15 years ago and I still miss her every day.

I went back to church on Sunday - my children have been going on Wednesday nights and the pastor asked when their parents would return - they had been missing us for the last several months. So, I decided I would put the pain of my mom and the confusion about my life in God's hands. I was really excited to go and was really looking forward to "feeling something", but I really didn't. The message was about living good in a bad world and I just didn't get that into it. Sometimes, I'll go and they'll either sing a song my mom used to like or the message will be something I remember her talking about and I'll feel like she's there with me and she's looking down with gladness that her daughter and family are in church, but I just didn't get that this Sunday. I'm planning to return this week and I've been praying more often than usual (though this could certainly increase and it wouldn't hurt me one darn bit) - I'm hoping that God will guide me to do what he has in store for me - but, how will I know when He's telling me something? How do you know if it is God directing you or your own thoughts driving you to do what your self-conscience wants to do?

Anyway better go for now. Thanks for listening.