The Heat and the Revelation

Last night, I rented "The Heat" with Melissa McCarthy.  I was really excited to watch it and thought the hubs would enjoy it, too.  Comedies used to be his favorite kind of movie.  I had heard the language was raunchy (which made me want to see it even more - I love me some f-bombs!) and that it was hilarious.  Colby told me it was one of the funniest movies he'd ever seen so I was stoked to watch it (do people say stoked anymore?)

We didn't eat dinner til after 8 and Darrell was hee-hawing around when finally I told him I was going to put the movie in the DVD player in our room.  There were a few times that I laughed out loud at some things that Melissa McCarthy said (I really, really like her as an actress) but to be honest, I fell asleep a little more than halfway through it.  I realized that I don't like watching stuff with Darrell anymore.  Every time I think he is going to really enjoy something on TV, and I "save" something for him to watch - just waiting for his reaction because I know he's going to love it - he doesn't!  There is no reaction - there's no laugh out loud moment for him - just crickets.  So, I'm don't trying to find stuff he will like in a movie.  I gave up watching American Horror Story for this and I'm disappointed that we didn't share a laugh like I thought we would.  I hope this is not happening to me.

Don't worry, I'll watch AHS tonight and probably the rest of The Heat before I return it.  And I'll watch by myself - maybe I'll get a few more laughs out of it.

Today is Day 4 of Advocare.  I didn't have to drink the fiber drink this morning but instead took two probiotic capsules that are supposed to aid in the digestion process.  I've only been to the bathroom once so far this week (totally normal for me but I expected more from a cleanse.)  I've been told perhaps these probiotic pills will get that process going as well.

I did pretty well with the clean eating yesterday and so far today.  I'm not totally following it to the T so I don't know if I'll have the expected results.  I'm also not moving my ass at all (as in exercise) so I'm sure that will keep my progress from being as much as I had hoped for.  I don't know why I always think these types of things are suddenly going to change the person I am.  I was so gung-ho to start this cleanse and planned what I was going to eat, bought different stuff at the grocery store and have filled my cabinets with healthy food but now that I'm actually doing it, I'm not following it to the letter of the law so I'm left wondering why do I even try these schemes?  I know this is different that Hydroxycut or any other pill I've tried.  It's different that the cabbage soup diet or the HCG (really?  I really put HCG hormone under my tongue thinking it was going to help me lose weight?) or any of the other fad things I've done and I do feel like if I switched to this type of lifestyle or diet at least 80% of the time, I would definitely be more healthy and probably alot slimmer.  I think I can work toward that goal - to eat this way at least 80% of the time allowing myself the tablespoon of sugar in my morning coffee (altogether - not just one cup) or couple of small pieces of cornbread with my ham & beans without beating myself up.

I think the key always has been and always will be exercise.  I really don't eat that much and I do make good choices most of the time (except when it's birthday bonanza day) but I am going to have to make the commitment to exercise if I want to see real results.  I just don't know if I'm ready for that yet.  I think I'm ready but I also thought I was ready to eat clean for 10 days without cheating at all.

I'll leave you with this lovely picture of Paula Deen riding butter.  I hope it works (not sure how to post a gif).  You may have seen this before but today was my first time ever - and I laughed out loud:)

Best Laid Plans - Advocare - Day 2 & Day 3

Despite my having packed enough food yesterday for 3 days on Advocare (I felt like a bag lady) yesterday was a bust!  There was a birthday extravaganza at work all day with a bonanza of food for the entire day!!!  Ain’t nobody got willpower for dat!  Well – I don’t anyway.  I did OK until the afternoon munchies hit me!  I swear the table looked like this....

Then my daughter’s sports banquet was last night – again the cooks in the PHS school district ain’t got time for no clean cookin’!  That’s for sure!

Ugh!!!  I thought I’d get away with green salad and I had a boiled egg and some almonds but I did have some turkey & gravy – no mashed potatoes – and green beans with a salad - but then I spotted the strawberry shortcake and I may or may not have had a taste (try the whole damned piece – somebody shoot me now!!!)  I couldn't stop myself - it was like a drug!  Why is this so danged hard!!!

Buttttt………………

I’m back on the wagon again today – so far, so good.  I feel good.  The past is behind me, yada, yada, yada!!!!!

So, I’m on Day 3 now – still no bathroom visits for me.  I’ve read on other blogs that sometimes it doesn’t happen until you start the probiotics which is tomorrow.  Plus, I wondered if my cheating had anything to do with it.  I've never been particularly regular in that department anyway - well, until I had my gallbladder removed a few years ago - since then, I've been just fine. 

I don't feel constipated or anything - really, I don't feel anything.  How can this be cleansing anything if there is nothing coming out!  I hate to complain about that because it might just bite me in the butt soon but so far, nuthin'!!

So, I leave you with these words of wisdom.......and hope I can take my own advice - or the advice of someone else's image on the internet!!

My First Cleanse - Day One

Okay, everybody (yeah, right - no one reads this blog - oh, well - I'll just pretend:)) I'm doing my first ever cleanse and it is the Advocare Herbal Cleanse.  I've been leading up to this for the last week.  I started "eating clean" last Monday morning and I'm proud to say that I did a pretty damned good job of it.  I did fall off just a couple of times and I really mean, a couple - like two, maybe three times throughout the entire week.  I didn't drink one soda - not even a drink of a soda the entire week! 

I didn't eat any junk food - well, the first three nights, I did eat one large tablespoon of Rocky Road ice cream before going to bed but in days past, I would have eaten a bowl.  On Friday night, I had drinks with my very best friend and I had four Bud Lights but I looked up before I went and beer is the 2nd most clean drink you can drink - although you should abstain - who the hell cares - life still happens and we can either sit back and watch or participate!  I participated! I had peel n eat shrimp while I was there so that was clean but when I got home, I was starving and I had a huge bowl of Cocoa Pebbles - totally not clean!  But I was right back on Saturday morning. 

I really stretched myself this weekend and I made up this chicken/veggie cous cous (look at me - cooking - and cous cous to top it off!!)  It was pretty good.  Then I made a

deer meat stew - I'm not that in to venison but with all the hunters in my house, I always have a ton of it around and when I started searching for clean recipes, this one popped up!  I must say - it was dyno-mite!!  Here is the recipe for Sweet Potato Venison Stew.  Yumm-O!!! 

So, I started the actual cleanse today - I did the fiber drink this morning and drank the
Spark.  The fiber drink was just OK, dog (Randy Jackson - AI).  I put it is apple juice and it was entirely too sweet for me today.  Tomorrow I will get some Tropicana 50/50 and try it in that.  The Spark was pretty good - kind of tastes like a fruit punch drink.  I can live with it and I didn't have any coffee today - I ALWAYS have coffee so we will just see how this goes.  I don't think I've yawned yet today so that's a plus. 

WARNING * POTENTIAL * TMI *

Since I have a 90 minute commute in the morning, I was more than a little worried I'd have to make a pit stop part of the way through, if the "cleanse" hit me and my friend even told me I should have started yesterday to see how it was going to affect me.  Well, I did have to stop at QT on the way here today.  I couldn't hold it -

but it was only to pee:)  I'm not used to drinking 8oz of Spark, 8oz of apple juice infused herbal cleanse and 8oz of water (recommended after the fiber drink) and water just goes right through me!!  I absolutely could not wait a moment longer and had to stop at QT and run in to pee!

Also - I packed an actual duffel bag of food for today - left over cous cous for lunch and deer meat stew for dinner plus makings for a salad and a banana and an apple and some almonds.  Eating clean is not easy - you absolutely have to plan because it is not convenience and if you find yourself starving with nothing clean to eat, you will most definitely run to the vending machine or the nearest fast-food restaurant.  I have class on Monday nights until 10:00pm so I knew I had to be well-prepared for the late afternoon and late night munchies - I think I got it covered.

So that's my day so far and it's only 10:00 am.  I'll let you know how I feel later - with no coffee:)

Letter to my daughter, the freshman

Dear Sonya,

Tomorrow you begin high school.  You are my baby girl and the last of my children to pass this milestone so I want to take this time to give you some advice for high school.  Hopefully, some of this will stick and hopefully, you'll even carry this on past high school.

High school doesn't last forever.  There will be days when you think it will never end but someday you'll look back and wonder where the time went.  Enjoy every second of it.  Yes, every second.  Even the pop quizzes and embarrassing moments you're bound to have.  It helps to shape your grown up self and you'll cherish the memories later.  Have fun and don't take it too seriously, it's only high school.

Some people will try to tell you that these are the best years of your life.  I sure as hell hope they're not.  I want your high school years to be fun but I want so much more for you.  I want you to go to (and finish) college.  I want you to travel and see other parts of the world.  I want you to have an exciting career doing something you love.  Later, I want you to experience marriage and children but I want you to have a whole lot of fun before then.  I want you to live for you before you take on the role of wife and mother.

You will fail at some things during high school and it won't mean the end of the world.  You might not make everything you try out for but don't stop trying.  Half of the fun is in the trying.  Try something new - something the rest of your group isn't in to - make it your own.  Break away from your group now and then and experience some of your high school years with new people.

Some people might be mean to you.  Don't take it personally.  Cut them some slack.  You have no idea what they are going through at home.  Brush it off if they make fun of you or give you a dirty look.  Remember, you don't have to attend every argument you're invited to.

Don't be a mean girl!  If you are having a bad day and you're an asshole to someone - apologize the next day.  Trust me, this practice will come in handy later in life.  It's OK to be in a bad mood sometimes - just don't let it carry on the next day.  On the flipside, if someone is an asshole to you and apologizes, let them off the hook - as long as this is not a cycle that continues every day or week.  If so, there is no reason for that person to be in your life. 

Don't be afraid to admit it if you're wrong.  You may know with absolute certainty that Harry Stiles' favorite food is pizza and you get in a terrible fight with your best friend because you just know you're right.  Then you find out that his favorite food is actually tacos - admit your wrong.  It only hurts for a minute, I promise.  Don't be a know it all!

Don't talk badly about anyone, especially your friends.  Find the good in people.  It's there, if you just look.  Be careful with your secrets.  Your best friend today may be your worst enemy next year and she just may try to use your secrets against you.  Instead share your secrets with your mom:)  I promise I'll try not to judge - if I do - remind me that I promised you I wouldn't judge.

Don't get mad at someone (brother, sister, family friend) if they tell me if you're doing something that might seriously hurt you - like drinking and driving, drugs, etc.  It will be for your own good.  If someone tries to tell me something about you that won't seriously hurt you - I will tell them to mind their own business.  I don't need to know everything you do but if your life is at risk, no friendship or sibling relationship is worth the cost.

Give compliments freely.  Every one could use a compliment now and then.  If you see someone with a cool bracelet or a cute shirt, tell them.  If someone does something nice for you, say thank you!  It goes a long way.  Some adults could learn from that, even some adults in your family.  More people should say thank you!

For the love of God, date more than one person in high school!  Please do not think you will get married to your high school sweetheart!  Give me a break!  Give yourself a break!  Give that poor boy a break!!!  Don't only go for the cute jock - give the average nerd a chance.  How will you ever know your type if you only ever date one type of guy?  Friendship is the foundation of love so be careful when you friendzone someone:)

Be friends with all kinds of people, regardless of their looks, social status, or GPA.  Each person brings something different to the table and you can learn so much from other people.  Be friendly, talk to everyone, and don't forget to stop talking and listen now and then.

Confidence is 99% of any journey.  Be confident.  Be strong.  Be assertive, not aggressive.  Be respectful.  Be brave.  Be kind to people, all people.  Be honest but not to the point of being hurtful.  You can always find a way to be honest with someone without having to hurt their feelings.  If you have to sugarcoat something to save someone's feelings, do it.  A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down (Mary Poppins)

Those people who seem like they have it all together - they just don't.  Believe me, there is something they're missing or something they're worried about.  Even the "in" crowd doesn't think they fit in sometimes.  Unless they're Regina George - then they're just a bitch and need to get over themselves - but even Regina was missing something in her life - don't you remember her mom?  She had concrete boobs for goodness sake!

Love your dad.  This is important.  I know you're not exactly a Daddy's Girl and I know your dad is not always the easiest person to get along with.  I know he acts like he knows it all and he's rough and loud and embarrassing sometimes but that man loves you - probably more than anything on this earth.  Your dad's knees buckled and he had tears in his eyes the moment you were born.  He will protect you, above all else, until his dying day.  All he really wants is to know that he has been a good dad (and sometimes that means being a mean dad.)  He needs to know you love him and he needs to feel appreciated from time to time.  He does a lot for us, you know.  A hug and and I-Love-You from his baby girl every now and then will go a long way, trust me.  It will melt his heart and make him go a little easier on you.  Don't wait for him to show his affection because he was never really taught to do that.  I've been trying to teach him for years and it's just now sinking in a little but don't wait on him to make the first move.  Just randomly show him that you appreciate him - go up and give him a hug for no reason - send him a text that says I love you, Dad (and not just when he lets you go somewhere or gives you an extra $20.)  Your dad isn't always the kindest man on the planet but that man will always support you, always defend you against anyone or anything and always, always love you with all his heart.  There is no one I'd rather have on my side and I truly mean that.

This has gone on long enough and now I have tears in my eyes.  You probably need to get ready for your first day of high school, little girl.  I love you so much, Sonya.  You won't have a genuine understanding of how much I love you until you have children of your own.  I know you are not perfect.  I know you'll make some mistakes and some of them will be boneheaded mistakes, just please be careful.  You only have one life - don't take life too seriously but give it the respect it deserves.  Always carry my love in your heart and your dad's voice in the back of your mind telling you to do the right thing! 

Remember, high school doesn't last forever.  You'll get through the bad days and you'll cherish the good days.  Take it for all it's worth!  Learn all you can from these years - have a ton or fun - make new friends - don't participate in the drama - don't accept fake friends - be true to yourself - you are worth it!

Love, Mom

First ultrasound today - heart rate 172 - 9 weeks!

I had a great weekend!  I took a vacation day on Friday so I could attend parent teacher conferences and Colby's first baseball game and it was a gorgeous day!  So glad I took the day off.  I heard some pretty positive things about both of my kids, the Trojans won by a score of 10-nothin' and we got to spend time with Heather, Wesley & Nolan.  We went to Pepper's after the game because Boo's had a line out the door.  They had a buffet but after looking at it I decided to stick to my good eating habits and order the chicken breast.  It was actually pretty good.  I was afraid it would be dry but it was really juicy and seasoned well.  I had a salad, chicken, green beans (I'm sure they were full of bacon grease but oh so good!) and a few bites of big curd cottage cheese (not a fan!)  Darrell had rolls with his open faced beef and my mouth was watering so when he didn't finish his second one, I asked for a bite and immediately spit it out - totally not worth the calories!

Saturday morning Sonya had a volleyball tournament in Arnold.  She spent all night with the team so I didn't have to be there at the ass crack of dawn but still made it by 10:30.  My nephew and his wife were there with their baby who is almost as big at 9 months as Nolan is at 1 year!  Geez!  He is a beast:)  Had a really good talk with them.  Wesley brought Nolan to me and he spent a few hours watching volleyball - except for the few minutes it took him to pee on me (damned cloth diapers) and to do a faceplant into the trophy case.  The tournament didn't go so well but we were finished by 1:00 so Sonya and I decided to run by Target (I had a $20 gift card.)  I wanted a new shirt to wear to the bowling alley but couldn't find anything.  Nolan wasn't a big help as he refused to stay in the cart!  Sonya and I got a few new unmentionables and we were on our way.

Stopped by Cato's while Sonya napped in the car and returned a few purchases from last week.  I found two new blouses (I knew I'd only keep one of them) and ran home to change before the Colorama at the bowling alley.  I have been looking forward to this all week, had been wanting a drink since Wednesday and knew I would most likely be staggering out of the bowling alley by the end of the night.  Here was my outfit for Saturday night.  Don't look at Sonya's room - it's a mess!

This is also my 180 pound picture!  I've officially lost 25 pounds and am starting to be more confident in the way I look and I think you can tell by the smile on my face!  (Unfortunately, my unhealthy habits of Saturday night found their way back to my hips because I was up 2 pounds today but I'm confident they'll be gone again by the end of the week!)

So I had quite a few beers that night and I originally wanted to go out dancing after bowling but by the time we left, I was in no shape to go anywhere but home!  I woke up at 8am to let the dog out, went back to bed, got up at 11am to eat a big ass bucket of Cookie Crisp, went back to bed where I rested my eyes and watching TV until Darrell forced me out of bed at 1pm!!!  Nothing really hurt but I was just soooo lazy.  I tried to make breakfast, burned the biscuits not once, but TWICE and then had to get ready for league bowling. 

Started off with a good game (for me) of 111, but then I don't know what in the hell happened and I ended up with a 74 or 76 for the 2nd game and a 107 for the 3rd game.  All in all, I got my average (93) for the night.  Home and made an early night of it.  Got some bad news from DJ but I'm still working that out in my head so will have to decide whether to share his issues later on:)