tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87022877439411856472024-03-13T22:50:10.896-07:00Not So Evil ShenanigansNot so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.comBlogger130125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-88283644269408798182013-11-14T11:51:00.000-08:002013-11-14T13:47:14.776-08:00The Heat and the RevelationLast night, I rented "The Heat" with Melissa McCarthy. I was really excited to watch it and thought the hubs would enjoy it, too. Comedies used to be his favorite kind of movie. I had heard the language was raunchy (which made me want to see it even more - I love me some f-bombs!) and that it was hilarious. Colby told me it was one of the funniest movies he'd ever seen so I was stoked to watch it (do people say stoked anymore?)<br />
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We didn't eat dinner til after 8 and Darrell was hee-hawing around when finally I told him I was going to put the movie in the DVD player in our room. There were a few times that I laughed out loud at some things that Melissa McCarthy said (I really, really like her as an actress) but to be honest, I fell asleep a little more than halfway through it. I realized that I don't like watching stuff with Darrell anymore. Every time I think he is going to really enjoy something on TV, and I "save" something for him to watch - just waiting for his reaction because I know he's going to love it - he doesn't! There is no reaction - there's no laugh out loud moment for him - just crickets. So, I'm don't trying to find stuff he will like in a movie. I gave up watching American Horror Story for this and I'm disappointed that we didn't share a laugh like I thought we would. I hope this is not happening to me.<br />
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<br />Don't worry, I'll watch AHS tonight and probably the rest of The Heat before I return it. And I'll watch by myself - maybe I'll get a few more laughs out of it.<br />
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Today is Day 4 of Advocare. I didn't have to drink the fiber drink this morning but instead took two probiotic capsules that are supposed to aid in the digestion process. I've only been to the bathroom once so far this week (totally normal for me but I expected more from a cleanse.) I've been told perhaps these probiotic pills will get that process going as well.<br />
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I did pretty well with the clean eating yesterday and so far today. I'm not totally following it to the T so I don't know if I'll have the expected results. I'm also not moving my ass at all (as in exercise) so I'm sure that will keep my progress from being as much as I had hoped for. I don't know why I always think these types of things are suddenly going to change the person I am. I was so gung-ho to start this cleanse and planned what I was going to eat, bought different stuff at the grocery store and have filled my cabinets with healthy food but now that I'm actually doing it, I'm not following it to the letter of the law so I'm left wondering why do I even try these schemes? I know this is different that Hydroxycut or any other pill I've tried. It's different that the cabbage soup diet or the HCG (really? I really put HCG hormone under my tongue thinking it was going to help me lose weight?) or any of the other fad things I've done and I do feel like if I switched to this type of lifestyle or diet at least 80% of the time, I would definitely be more healthy and probably alot slimmer. I think I can work toward that goal - to eat this way at least 80% of the time allowing myself the tablespoon of sugar in my morning coffee (altogether - not just one cup) or couple of small pieces of cornbread with my ham & beans without beating myself up.<br />
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I think the key always has been and always will be exercise. I really don't eat that much and I do make good choices most of the time (except when it's birthday bonanza day) but I am going to have to make the commitment to exercise if I want to see real results. I just don't know if I'm ready for that yet. I think I'm ready but I also thought I was ready to eat clean for 10 days without cheating at all.<br />
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I'll leave you with this lovely picture of Paula Deen riding butter. I hope it works (not sure how to post a gif). You may have seen this before but today was my first time ever - and I laughed out loud:)<br />
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Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-8734190436840262492013-11-13T11:45:00.000-08:002013-11-13T11:45:02.977-08:00Best Laid Plans - Advocare - Day 2 & Day 3<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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at work all day with a bonanza of food for the entire day!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ain’t nobody got willpower for dat!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well – I don’t anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did OK until the afternoon munchies hit me! I swear the table looked like this....</span></div>
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night – again the cooks in the PHS school district ain’t got time for no
clean cookin’!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s for sure!</span></div>
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</span>I thought I’d get away with green salad and I had a boiled egg and some
almonds but I did have some turkey & gravy – no mashed potatoes – and green beans with a salad - but then I spotted the strawberry shortcake and I may or may not have had a taste (try the whole damned piece – somebody shoot me now!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">) I couldn't stop myself - it was like a drug! </span>Why is this so danged hard!!!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "Book Antiqua","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-themecolor: dark2;">Buttttt………………</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "Book Antiqua","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-themecolor: dark2;">I’m back on the wagon again today – so far,
so good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The past is behind me, yada, yada, yada!!!!!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "Book Antiqua","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">So, I’m on Day 3 now – still no bathroom visits for me.
I’ve read on other blogs that sometimes it doesn’t happen until you start the
probiotics which is tomorrow. Plus, I wondered if my cheating had
anything to do with it. I've never been particularly regular in that department anyway - well, until I had my gallbladder removed a few years ago - since then, I've been just fine.</span> </div>
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I don't feel constipated or anything - really, I don't feel anything. How can this be cleansing anything if there is nothing coming out! I hate to complain about that because it might just bite me in the butt soon but so far, nuthin'!!</div>
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So, I leave you with these words of wisdom.......and hope I can take my own advice - or the advice of someone else's image on the internet!!</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-X0APrXImpkc/UoPWt9NxnJI/AAAAAAAAAio/1Uec05IAZAI/s1600/get+out+of+the+way.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-X0APrXImpkc/UoPWt9NxnJI/AAAAAAAAAio/1Uec05IAZAI/s1600/get+out+of+the+way.jpg" height="320" width="310" /></a></div>
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Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-71114620440621755902013-11-11T08:07:00.001-08:002013-11-11T08:07:02.447-08:00My First Cleanse - Day OneOkay, everybody (yeah, right - no one reads this blog - oh, well - I'll just pretend:)) I'm doing my first ever cleanse and it is the <a href="http://www.advocare.com/products/well/W3171.aspx" target="_blank">Advocare Herbal Cleanse</a>. I've been leading up to this for the last week. I started "eating clean" last Monday morning and I'm proud to say that I did a pretty damned good job of it. I did fall off just a couple of times and I really mean, a couple - like two, maybe three times throughout the entire week. I didn't drink one soda - not even a drink of a soda the entire week! <br />
<br />
I didn't eat any junk food - well, the first three nights, I did eat one large tablespoon of Rocky Road ice cream before going to bed but in days past, I would have eaten a bowl. On Friday night, I had drinks with my very best friend and I had four Bud Lights but I looked up before I went and beer is the 2nd most clean drink you can drink - although you should abstain - who the hell cares - life still happens and we can either sit back and watch or participate! I participated! I had peel n eat shrimp while I was there so that was clean but when I got home, I was starving and I had a huge bowl of Cocoa Pebbles - totally not clean! But I was right back on Saturday morning. <br />
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I really stretched myself this weekend and I made up this chicken/veggie cous cous (look at me - cooking - and cous cous to top it off!!) It was pretty good. Then I made a <br />
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deer meat stew - I'm not that in to venison but with all the hunters in my house, I always have a ton of it around and when I started searching for clean recipes, this one popped up! I must say - it was dyno-mite!! Here is the recipe for <a href="http://www.thegraciouspantry.com/clean-eating-sweet-potoat-venison-stew/" target="_blank">Sweet Potato Venison Stew</a>. Yumm-O!!! <br />
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So, I started the actual cleanse today - I did the fiber drink this morning and drank the <br />
Spark. The fiber drink was just OK, dog (Randy Jackson - AI). I put it is apple juice and it was entirely too sweet for me today. Tomorrow I will get some Tropicana 50/50 and try it in that. The Spark was pretty good - kind of tastes like a fruit punch drink. I can live with it and I didn't have any coffee today - I ALWAYS have coffee so we will just see how this goes. I don't think I've yawned yet today so that's a plus. <br />
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WARNING * POTENTIAL * TMI * <br />
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Since I have a 90 minute commute in the morning, I was more than a little worried I'd have to make a pit stop part of the way through, if the "cleanse" hit me and my friend even told me I should have started yesterday to see how it was going to affect me. Well, I did have to stop at QT on the way here today. I couldn't hold it -<br />
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but it was only to pee:) I'm not used to drinking 8oz of Spark, 8oz of apple juice infused herbal cleanse and 8oz of water (recommended after the fiber drink) and water just goes right through me!! I absolutely could not wait a moment longer and had to stop at QT and run in to pee!<br />
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Also - I packed an actual duffel bag of food for today - left over cous cous for lunch and deer meat stew for dinner plus makings for a salad and a banana and an apple and some almonds. Eating clean is not easy - you absolutely have to plan because it is not convenience and if you find yourself starving with nothing clean to eat, you will most definitely run to the vending machine or the nearest fast-food restaurant. I have class on Monday nights until 10:00pm so I knew I had to be well-prepared for the late afternoon and late night munchies - I think I got it covered.<br />
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So that's my day so far and it's only 10:00 am. I'll let you know how I feel later - with no coffee:)Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-88281953138262851762013-08-14T14:02:00.001-07:002013-08-14T14:02:32.020-07:00Letter to my daughter, the freshman<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Dear Sonya,<br />
<br />
Tomorrow you begin high school. You are my baby girl and the last of my children to pass this milestone so I want to take this time to give you some advice for high school. Hopefully, some of this will stick and hopefully, you'll even carry this on past high school.<br />
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High school doesn't last forever. There will be days when you think it will never end but someday you'll look back and wonder where the time went. Enjoy every second of it. Yes, every second. Even the pop quizzes and embarrassing moments you're bound to have. It helps to shape your grown up self and you'll cherish the memories later. Have fun and don't take it too seriously, it's only high school.<br />
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Some people will try to tell you that these are the best years of your life. I sure as hell hope they're not. I want your high school years to be fun but I want so much more for you. I want you to go to (and finish) college. I want you to travel and see other parts of the world. I want you to have an exciting career doing something you love. Later, I want you to experience marriage and children but I want you to have a whole lot of fun before then. I want you to live for you before you take on the role of wife and mother.<br />
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You will fail at some things during high school and it won't mean the end of the world. You might not make everything you try out for but don't stop trying. Half of the fun is in the trying. Try something new - something the rest of your group isn't in to - make it your own. Break away from your group now and then and experience some of your high school years with new people.<br />
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Some people might be mean to you. Don't take it personally. Cut them some slack. You have no idea what they are going through at home. Brush it off if they make fun of you or give you a dirty look. Remember, you don't have to attend every argument you're invited to.<br />
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Don't be a mean girl! If you are having a bad day and you're an asshole to someone - apologize the next day. Trust me, this practice will come in handy later in life. It's OK to be in a bad mood sometimes - just don't let it carry on the next day. On the flipside, if someone is an asshole to you and apologizes, let them off the hook - as long as this is not a cycle that continues every day or week. If so, there is no reason for that person to be in your life. <br />
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Don't be afraid to admit it if you're wrong. You may know with absolute certainty that Harry Stiles' favorite food is pizza and you get in a terrible fight with your best friend because you just know you're right. Then you find out that his favorite food is actually tacos - admit your wrong. It only hurts for a minute, I promise. Don't be a know it all!<br />
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Don't talk badly about anyone, especially your friends. Find the good in people. It's there, if you just look. Be careful with your secrets. Your best friend today may be your worst enemy next year and she just may try to use your secrets against you. Instead share your secrets with your mom:) I promise I'll try not to judge - if I do - remind me that I promised you I wouldn't judge.<br />
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Don't get mad at someone (brother, sister, family friend) if they tell me if you're doing something that might seriously hurt you - like drinking and driving, drugs, etc. It will be for your own good. If someone tries to tell me something about you that won't seriously hurt you - I will tell them to mind their own business. I don't need to know everything you do but if your life is at risk, no friendship or sibling relationship is worth the cost.<br />
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Give compliments freely. Every one could use a compliment now and then. If you see someone with a cool bracelet or a cute shirt, tell them. If someone does something nice for you, say thank you! It goes a long way. Some adults could learn from that, even some adults in your family. More people should say thank you!<br />
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For the love of God, date more than one person in high school! Please do not think you will get married to your high school sweetheart! Give me a break! Give yourself a break! Give that poor boy a break!!! Don't only go for the cute jock - give the average nerd a chance. How will you ever know your type if you only ever date one type of guy? Friendship is the foundation of love so be careful when you friendzone someone:)<br />
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Be friends with all kinds of people, regardless of their looks, social status, or GPA. Each person brings something different to the table and you can learn so much from other people. Be friendly, talk to everyone, and don't forget to stop talking and listen now and then.<br />
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Confidence is 99% of any journey. Be confident. Be strong. Be assertive, not aggressive. Be respectful. Be brave. Be kind to people, all people. Be honest but not to the point of being hurtful. You can always find a way to be honest with someone without having to hurt their feelings. If you have to sugarcoat something to save someone's feelings, do it. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down (Mary Poppins)<br />
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Those people who seem like they have it all together - they just don't. Believe me, there is something they're missing or something they're worried about. Even the "in" crowd doesn't think they fit in sometimes. Unless they're Regina George - then they're just a bitch and need to get over themselves - but even Regina was missing something in her life - don't you remember her mom? She had concrete boobs for goodness sake!<br />
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Love your dad. This is important. I know you're not exactly a Daddy's Girl and I know your dad is not always the easiest person to get along with. I know he acts like he knows it all and he's rough and loud and embarrassing sometimes but that man loves you - probably more than anything on this earth. Your dad's knees buckled and he had tears in his eyes the moment you were born. He will protect you, above all else, until his dying day. All he really wants is to know that he has been a good dad (and sometimes that means being a mean dad.) He needs to know you love him and he needs to feel appreciated from time to time. He does a lot for us, you know. A hug and and I-Love-You from his baby girl every now and then will go a long way, trust me. It will melt his heart and make him go a little easier on you. Don't wait for him to show his affection because he was never really taught to do that. I've been trying to teach him for years and it's just now sinking in a little but don't wait on him to make the first move. Just randomly show him that you appreciate him - go up and give him a hug for no reason - send him a text that says I love you, Dad (and not just when he lets you go somewhere or gives you an extra $20.) Your dad isn't always the kindest man on the planet but that man will always support you, always defend you against anyone or anything and always, always love you with all his heart. There is no one I'd rather have on my side and I truly mean that.<br />
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This has gone on long enough and now I have tears in my eyes. You probably need to get ready for your first day of high school, little girl. I love you so much, Sonya. You won't have a genuine understanding of how much I love you until you have children of your own. I know you are not perfect. I know you'll make some mistakes and some of them will be boneheaded mistakes, just please be careful. You only have one life - don't take life too seriously but give it the respect it deserves. Always carry my love in your heart and your dad's voice in the back of your mind telling you to do the right thing! <br />
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Remember, high school doesn't last forever. You'll get through the bad days and you'll cherish the good days. Take it for all it's worth! Learn all you can from these years - have a ton or fun - make new friends - don't participate in the drama - don't accept fake friends - be true to yourself - you are worth it!<br />
<br />
Love, MomNot so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-7111307771309343842013-05-30T10:27:00.002-07:002013-05-30T10:27:55.294-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-3556611143836443002013-05-29T15:02:00.001-07:002013-05-29T15:02:10.330-07:00First ultrasound today - heart rate 172 - 9 weeks!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-4325284097664400002013-03-18T10:51:00.001-07:002013-03-18T10:51:16.832-07:00I had a great weekend! I took a vacation day on Friday so I could attend parent teacher conferences and Colby's first baseball game and it was a gorgeous day! So glad I took the day off. I heard some pretty positive things about both of my kids, the Trojans won by a score of 10-nothin' and we got to spend time with Heather, Wesley & Nolan. We went to Pepper's after the game because Boo's had a line out the door. They had a buffet but after looking at it I decided to stick to my good eating habits and order the chicken breast. It was actually pretty good. I was afraid it would be dry but it was really juicy and seasoned well. I had a salad, chicken, green beans (I'm sure they were full of bacon grease but oh so good!) and a few bites of big curd cottage cheese (not a fan!) Darrell had rolls with his open faced beef and my mouth was watering so when he didn't finish his second one, I asked for a bite and immediately spit it out - totally not worth the calories!<br />
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Saturday morning Sonya had a volleyball tournament in Arnold. She spent all night with the team so I didn't have to be there at the ass crack of dawn but still made it by 10:30. My nephew and his wife were there with their baby who is almost as big at 9 months as Nolan is at 1 year! Geez! He is a beast:) Had a really good talk with them. Wesley brought Nolan to me and he spent a few hours watching volleyball - except for the few minutes it took him to pee on me (damned cloth diapers) and to do a faceplant into the trophy case. The tournament didn't go so well but we were finished by 1:00 so Sonya and I decided to run by Target (I had a $20 gift card.) I wanted a new shirt to wear to the bowling alley but couldn't find anything. Nolan wasn't a big help as he refused to stay in the cart! Sonya and I got a few new unmentionables and we were on our way.<br />
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Stopped by Cato's while Sonya napped in the car and returned a few purchases from last week. I found two new blouses (I knew I'd only keep one of them) and ran home to change before the Colorama at the bowling alley. I have been looking forward to this all week, had been wanting a drink since Wednesday and knew I would most likely be staggering out of the bowling alley by the end of the night. Here was my outfit for Saturday night. Don't look at Sonya's room - it's a mess!<br />
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This is also my 180 pound picture! I've officially lost 25 pounds and am starting to be more confident in the way I look and I think you can tell by the smile on my face! (Unfortunately, my unhealthy habits of Saturday night found their way back to my hips because I was up 2 pounds today but I'm confident they'll be gone again by the end of the week!)<br />
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So I had quite a few beers that night and I originally wanted to go out dancing after bowling but by the time we left, I was in no shape to go anywhere but home! I woke up at 8am to let the dog out, went back to bed, got up at 11am to eat a big ass bucket of Cookie Crisp, went back to bed where I rested my eyes and watching TV until Darrell forced me out of bed at 1pm!!! Nothing really hurt but I was just soooo lazy. I tried to make breakfast, burned the biscuits not once, but TWICE and then had to get ready for league bowling. <br />
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Started off with a good game (for me) of 111, but then I don't know what in the hell happened and I ended up with a 74 or 76 for the 2nd game and a 107 for the 3rd game. All in all, I got my average (93) for the night. Home and made an early night of it. Got some bad news from DJ but I'm still working that out in my head so will have to decide whether to share his issues later on:)<br />
Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-64109364225240504972013-03-12T12:38:00.002-07:002013-03-12T12:38:50.453-07:00Shit ton of work and a new dressJust left a meeting and figured out I have a shit ton of work to do and I don't even know where to begin so I've decided to update my blog instead. In the past couple of years my job has shifted to more task oriented to project based. I have several huge projects that I'm responsible for in the run of each year and I need something to keep me on track since I've always just done tasks associated with projects but I've not been responsible for the whole project like I am now. Getting ready to start using Microsoft Project and wondering if anyone (this would be great if I had actual followers:)) used this and how it worked for them.<br />
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I wore a new dress to work today. I bought it from Land's End on clearance a few months ago and it's kind of a jersey dress. The top is kind of a faux wrap so I look like June Cleavage today - just need my pearl necklace....or not!! It's a royalish blue and I am getting complimented every time I see someone - Yay! for me! I don't know if it's the extra boobage I've got going on or that I'm walking with my head held a little higher these days. Confidence really does attract attention. Whatever it is, I'll take it. <br />
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Don't you just love when someone tells you "you look great today!" -
thanks, but I guess that means I looked like shit yesterday??? No,
really. I'll take whatever compliments I can get:) They help keep me
motivated!When I first started working here about twelve years ago, my wardrobe consisted mainly of dresses and skirts. For the past five or so years, I've noticed I hardly ever wear anything but slacks now and that sucks. I love dresses and skirts so I'm making it a point to re-introduce them to my stale wardrobe so hopefully that will help to keep the motivation going, too!<br />
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<br />Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-26862337069234979322013-03-11T08:47:00.003-07:002013-03-11T08:53:25.129-07:00Weight Loss and WeekendsSo over the past few years I've been letting myself go and not just
my weight!! I've been sloppy about my clothes and my hair. Now part of
this is because of my financial situation so it's not all because I'm a
fat-ass but regardless, somehow I've become a middle aged (hmmm, I
struggled with this word and didn't think it could be used to describe
myself but I am almost 43 so if I live to be 86, that's middle aged!).
Anywho, suddenly I'm a middle-aged frumpy woman!! I don't want to be
that!!<br />
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Usually when I'm trying to lose weight, I'm
looking for instant gratification. I hate, hate, hate that it takes so
freaking long to lose weight! In the past, I would have celebrated a 5 pound weight loss with a Blizzard from DQ. That was before I saw this pin...<br />
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This time around I've decided to kind
of start doing some things that make me feel good in the process to help
keep me motivated! I got a new haircut (which I really don't like but it's growing on me:), with a little color. I bought a few new makeup products to help me look better - I absolutely love new mascara! If I ever win the lottery, I will buy a new tube of mascara every week! So, little things like a new bra (or in my case, big things like a new bra) can make you feel like a million bucks without adding to your hips! <br />
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So, I can finally say I'm down 20 pounds. I use the Lose It app and went to see when I started this latest diet and it only gives me calculations for 4 weeks, which sucks - but whatcha gonna do?? Anyway, I started tracking my food again on January 30, 2013 and I think a couple days before that is when I weighed in at a whopping 205!!!!! My scale this morning said this...<br />
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That's 20 motha f'ing pounds, Sweet Pea!!! Whoopee!!! Now, to continue.....this isn't the first time I've lost 20 but it's the first time in a long time. Here were my 205 pics. I really don't want to do this. I wish I would have taken some better ones - with more clothes but I didn't so here it is. I promise you folks, it's not pretty but I had to start somewhere and I'm hoping to never ever see this again...<br />
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So, I've been so proud of myself and really using the app on my phone to help me make better choices. I've been eating alot of eggs, almonds, bananas, Smart Ones (which I'd like to get away from) and if I MUST eat out, I've been using my app to help me decide what to eat. It's amazing how many calories some things have in them. Meals that I would have previously thought weren't too bad, when I check them out I'm like - no wonder I'm a fat ass!!!</div>
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Hubs has taken to bowling lately and we were at the bowling alley Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday - UGH!! Not my ideal weekend but we did have a really good time and spent some quality time together. I did get a lot of compliments from him on my appearance Friday and Saturday night and he's been extra attentive lately. I honestly can't imagine my life without that man - he really has been my rock - the rock I'd like to bash against the side of a brick building some days but I absolutely know he will be by my side through whatever life throws my way. I can't wait to see what the next phase of our lives is like, now that two of our kids are out on their own and we have two teenagers left in the house. I'm hoping he mellows a little but when things with the kids get a little rough, I'm glad I can depend on him to be the strict one - if it was just me, I know they'd run wild!!!</div>
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Here's one more pic of me before heading out Saturday night. I wanted to get one of the both of us together but after the beer started flowing I forgot all about taking pictures. </div>
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<br />Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-81614827627723726662013-02-01T11:26:00.002-08:002013-02-01T11:50:07.843-08:00What Brought Me BackAs I said in my previous post, I stopped blogging (not that I was ever that good at it) when I figured out Facebook. Then, I got turned on to Pinterest. It was there that I found <a href="http://www.mamalaughlin.com/" target="_blank">Mama Laughlin</a>. Like so many others, she has inspired me to do more about how I feel about myself. Did you notice I said 'do more about how I feel about myself' and not 'do more about my weight problem?' - ok, just making sure.<br />
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I've struggled with my weight for years and if you ever go all the way back to the first time I started blogging in 2006 you'll probably see some evidence of that - oh, what I wouldn't do right now to be at the weight I was in 2006 - you know when I felt like I was morbidly obese. I really don't have any idea what my weight was then (7 damned years ago!) but I can guaran-damn-tee you it wasn't 195 pounds!!! And I'm sure I thought I was sickening and that's the highest my weight would ever be - boy was I wrong!<br />
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Lately, I've noticed a few things - and this was before Mama Laughlin - I don't really want to walk in front of people at an event - I used to love being the center of attention - to dress-up in heels - the whole get up. You'd NEVER see me in a t-shirt and sweats. Hell, I didn't even own t-shirts back then. I hated sneakers - they made my feet hurt (I swear they did!) Now, I get dressed for work in an office but I hardly ever wear heels - now they hurt my feet and I feel it's because my poor feet have to hold up my fat ass. They're tired folks - they can only hold so much and I've been pushing them to their limit - so they push back. When I started working here almost 12 years ago - I wore dresses ALL THE TIME - now I only wear dresses on very special occasions at work and NEVER at home! I want to wear dresses and heels again!!!!<br />
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So, my youngest son is in high school and he plays basketball. Of course, we go to most every game and I've noticed over the last couple of months that I have anxiety walking into the gym and up the bleachers. I just know what people are thinking of me. These people have known me for a long time. My two older kids went to this school and I've been around these families for-eve-r! I know they're thinking how much I've let myself go - maybe they're thinking I used to be cute - but good gawd what the hell happened! I'm probably making myself out to be way worse than people truly see me but hey, that's what happens when you lose your self-confidence! I've been taking the long way around the gym so I don't have to walk directly in front of too many people and sneaking in the side entrance and right up to where my hubby is usually waiting for me.<br />
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I am usually starving by the time I get to these games. I have a 90 minute commute and that's a long damned time since lunch! I almost always want popcorn but this year, I've been making my hubby go to the concession stand and get it for me. I don't want people to see me walking in with it and think 'boy, she really needs that popcorn!' Also, once I'm all the way up the bleachers, I'm kind of afraid I'll fall (I don't know if this feeling is a fat feeling or an old age feeling:)) but I never used to worry about it and used to walk up and down the bleachers in heels while talking to people behind me and probably doing somersaults! Now it scares me - or does it??? Maybe, I've made myself think it scares me so I don't feel as guilty asking my hubby to go get my popcorn for me at half-time. I'm not sure - I'm going to be on the lookout for more behaviors like this now that I've brought it to my own attention!<br />
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Also, I'm not as outgoing as I used to be and I'm usually happy now to be sitting in the background - pulling my shirt to make sure my rolls aren't too obvious when I used to be up going from table to table and talking to anyone that would listen. I've lost myself - and I want me back! I'm not nearly as confident as I used to be and I am way less willing to take on anything new (like look for a new job when this one gets me down!) I'm in a rut and I want out! Mama Laughlin helped me see this and I'm reading through her blog a little at a time because I am inspired to get most of my old self back along with a new bit of sass that I know is in there somewhere!<br />
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Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-80801333389265563482013-01-31T12:56:00.001-08:002013-01-31T13:00:23.904-08:00I'm bbaaaaaaaccccckkkkk! - What it's only been a year?OMG! It's been a year since I posted on this blog! Idk what is wrong with me. I used to love to do this but when Facebook took hold, it took over my life for awhile. I don't even care if anyone reads this blog, I need a place to keep my thoughts straight.
I didn't make any New Year's Resolutions this year but now that it's the end of the first month of the year I'm thinking maybe I should set some goals for myself.<br />
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I saw this on Pinterest the other night and it really got me thinking of declaring my goals first so I could realize my dreams (gotta figure out what those are) and secondly, I've been thinking it is a good idea to have sort of a bucket list for 2013. If I actually publish a list of things I'd like to accomplish in 2013 perhaps I will actually do at least one of them. Then I can say "Look what I did in 2013!" How exciting will that be? I know - probably not that exciting for anyone that might read this blog but pretty damned exciting for me! So here goes - these are the things I'd like to accomplish this year (and I reserve the right to revise this list at any time...<br />
1) Get healthy - I weigh 195 pounds (man that was hard to type) right now and my goal is to weigh 140 which is what the surgeon general says is a healthy weight:)<br />
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2) Begin a masters degree program (I think I want a Master in Public Health but I will reserve that judgment until I've researched a little further.)<br />
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3) Go camping in our camper that has been sitting at our house for a year now not being used.<br />
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4) Go on an extended trip with my husband that does not involved him playing softball (and by extended, I mean longer than leaving Friday night and coming home Sunday afternoon.)<br />
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5) Do at least 5 DIY projects from my <a href="http://pinterest.com/shannon_eckhoff/for-the-home/">Pinterest board</a>
I'm not going to put anything about being a better wife, mother, etc because I am already awesome at those things (what can I say, you caught me on a good day - I'm sure you'll hear more about my shortcomings later:))<br />
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So this is it for now, it's all I can think of off the top of my head but I fully plan to edit as I see fit, hopefully, by just adding things and not taking anything off.<br />
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OK, according to the quote, I wrote the dreams down with a date so that makes them goals now. The next thing I need to do is add the steps necessary to make the goals happen and my dreams come true - UGH~! If only it were that easy. I'm gonna give it a shot though so wish me luck.
Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-46004548297816613282011-12-13T14:09:00.001-08:002011-12-13T14:10:10.184-08:00<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DLGEb6q3e-o/TufNPnGMBoI/AAAAAAAAAXk/JwTebeGJilg/s1600/Eric.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 238px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DLGEb6q3e-o/TufNPnGMBoI/AAAAAAAAAXk/JwTebeGJilg/s320/Eric.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5685738722655209090" /></a><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RNwQb84C3OU/TufNLfhN1mI/AAAAAAAAAXY/r9e1lFvHiuA/s1600/alcide.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 210px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RNwQb84C3OU/TufNLfhN1mI/AAAAAAAAAXY/r9e1lFvHiuA/s320/alcide.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5685738651901613666" /></a>Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-67951263717734699452011-11-17T10:19:00.000-08:002011-11-17T10:20:20.219-08:00<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ToGtV4ZQL9c/TsVQV9z9oDI/AAAAAAAAAXM/K3rMMj6zSgc/s1600/Jason%2BAldean.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ToGtV4ZQL9c/TsVQV9z9oDI/AAAAAAAAAXM/K3rMMj6zSgc/s320/Jason%2BAldean.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5676031243670364210" /></a>Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-90664442079084797732011-11-02T08:52:00.000-07:002011-11-02T08:53:33.976-07:00<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9FDzg87nP0Y/TrFndM5dfUI/AAAAAAAAAW4/Jg1ST7N5Fl4/s1600/redheaded.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 225px; height: 225px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9FDzg87nP0Y/TrFndM5dfUI/AAAAAAAAAW4/Jg1ST7N5Fl4/s320/redheaded.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5670427157212265794" /></a><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dylX2pbLm2M/TrFndG7evzI/AAAAAAAAAWw/lCm1d6BvhH8/s1600/marriage%2Binterrupted.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dylX2pbLm2M/TrFndG7evzI/AAAAAAAAAWw/lCm1d6BvhH8/s320/marriage%2Binterrupted.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5670427155610124082" /></a><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9Ri_7SNC59A/TrFnc7njoWI/AAAAAAAAAWo/_4XhR4dPoHI/s1600/eat%2Bham.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9Ri_7SNC59A/TrFnc7njoWI/AAAAAAAAAWo/_4XhR4dPoHI/s320/eat%2Bham.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5670427152573768034" /></a><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hQ6AmnvqAL4/TrFnc1Bb81I/AAAAAAAAAWc/eUQ1WXGLDPg/s1600/day%2Bafter%2Bhunting%2Bseason.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hQ6AmnvqAL4/TrFnc1Bb81I/AAAAAAAAAWc/eUQ1WXGLDPg/s320/day%2Bafter%2Bhunting%2Bseason.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5670427150803268434" /></a>Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-81766417904368049802011-10-25T13:03:00.000-07:002011-10-25T13:05:39.751-07:00<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_HcYz2Mv4A4/TqcWjaRTPyI/AAAAAAAAAWM/8Du5V2SYBdA/s1600/stupid%2Bor%2Bwhat.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 160px; height: 119px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_HcYz2Mv4A4/TqcWjaRTPyI/AAAAAAAAAWM/8Du5V2SYBdA/s320/stupid%2Bor%2Bwhat.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5667523453672177442" /></a><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Eb9YxO68LUs/TqcWjU2o4lI/AAAAAAAAAWE/De34cgAv-vE/s1600/skinny%2Bperson.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 130px; height: 113px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Eb9YxO68LUs/TqcWjU2o4lI/AAAAAAAAAWE/De34cgAv-vE/s320/skinny%2Bperson.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5667523452218171986" /></a><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-h7QNSTOhXmA/TqcWdYXMilI/AAAAAAAAAV0/jCoHhUWzAg4/s1600/shit%2Bcould%2Bbe%2Bworse.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 290px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-h7QNSTOhXmA/TqcWdYXMilI/AAAAAAAAAV0/jCoHhUWzAg4/s320/shit%2Bcould%2Bbe%2Bworse.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5667523350080817746" /></a><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-F1gJ0NKyfVg/TqcWdBHGCFI/AAAAAAAAAVs/iuhQTRY7QkA/s1600/real%2Bbeer%2Bdrinkers.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 315px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-F1gJ0NKyfVg/TqcWdBHGCFI/AAAAAAAAAVs/iuhQTRY7QkA/s320/real%2Bbeer%2Bdrinkers.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5667523343839266898" /></a><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YxVRLahJZM4/TqcWc6GaQ5I/AAAAAAAAAVc/MZo-8EPUfnc/s1600/politics.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 264px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YxVRLahJZM4/TqcWc6GaQ5I/AAAAAAAAAVc/MZo-8EPUfnc/s320/politics.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5667523341957350290" /></a><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WBOMtLoSUW4/TqcWc4ROakI/AAAAAAAAAVQ/aCRkqop0OUY/s1600/marriage.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WBOMtLoSUW4/TqcWc4ROakI/AAAAAAAAAVQ/aCRkqop0OUY/s320/marriage.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5667523341465840194" /></a><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LnKsJLjvkUo/TqcWclrL9lI/AAAAAAAAAVI/ldqxPldOHdo/s1600/billion%2Byears.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 239px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LnKsJLjvkUo/TqcWclrL9lI/AAAAAAAAAVI/ldqxPldOHdo/s320/billion%2Byears.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5667523336474457682" /></a>Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-30226366090242653072011-05-16T10:39:00.000-07:002011-05-16T10:44:48.076-07:00I'm doing the same thingIt's graduation time at my work! I'm in charge of alot of the events surrounding graduation and the end of the semester and it's unbelievably busy this time of year. Especially this year...graduation falls on my birthday this year -yay, me! My oldest daughter's 21st birthday is this same week - we must celebrate and celebrate big! My son's high school graduation is next week - and with that all the planning of which family members will come, planning a graduation party for him, will it rain, will it be too hot, yada, yada, yada.<br /><br />This time of year I depend on my faculty to do certain things and get them in to me so I can complete graduation plans. It's always difficult to get certain members of my faculty to cooperate on deadlines - a handful are ALWAYS late and it throws my system off. If I set the deadlines earlier to allow for this, they catch on and turn things in late anyway. It's unbearable sometimes.<br /><br />Today, I found that I am doing the same thing. While graduation is first on my agenda right now, there are others within the University that are working toward other goals and twice today, I find that I have forgotten deadlines and caused their systems to breakdown. It sucks to figure out that you are just as bad as the people you are complaining about.<br /><br />I better get back to my to-do list and make sure I'm not late on anything else. Yeah, like that's gonna happen - I'm late for everything!Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-57365785857730929902011-05-05T11:29:00.000-07:002011-05-05T11:50:01.470-07:00Random Word Generator - AttachHmmm! Attach, what can you say about that? We are all attached in one way or another, right? Whether it be to our spouses, our children, our pets, our jobs, our homes, our hometowns. I'm wondering now if there is an instance that someone out there is not attached to anything? <br /><br />Just got a picture in my mind of a person without a home (homeless)- putting the person first is an OT habit I've picked up - it's not a homeless person, but a person without a home - that way being homeless doesn't define the person - get it? Like a person with a disability. Commonly, we will describe that person as a disabled person - but then the disability defines the person, not the other way around. People should take care to let the person define themselves - anyway, that was a short road trip - I'm back now...<br /><br />So attachment - lately, I've been struggling with my growing family, thinking of them grown up, how they'll get along, will my children be close? Next to Darrell, and sometimes ahead of Darrell, my sister is my closest companion. We talk about everything, we help each other make decisions, we gripe and vent and cry to one another and I can only hope that my children someday have relationships with one another like this.<br /><br />The way things are right now, at these ages, 21, 18, 14 and 12 - not so much. Heather usually gets along with all of them, but there are times when I'm sure she'd just as soon smack the crap out of one of her brothers or her sister as to look at them. But she doesn't and for that I am so glad!<br /><br />Sonya usually gets along with her siblings, but sometimes it's because she just ignores them. When she does get riled up - look out! She's going for blood! <br /><br />DJ and Colby are a source of concern lately - they seem to fight about every stinkin' thing they can! They're jealous of one another, theyre competitive with one another, have a really hard time giving the other one a compliment on something done well. They make fun of one another, make jokes at each others' expense and generally just walk around the house with attitude for one another looking to engage the other one in an argument.<br /><br />What makes brothers do this? Is it normal? Will they outgrow it? I have a hard time right now thinking they will ever have a good relationship with one another and it's tearing me up. I've spoken to both of them about it, told them how worried I was about it and that they should try to be on the same side for awhile, to no avail. And to be honest, I think one brother is as bad as the other. Neither is innocent of giving the other grief. When one is quiet, the other starts in and vice versa.<br /><br />So, will I ever have the family that looks forward to spending time together? When they grow up and have families of their own, will there be tension at family get togethers? I sure hope not because we're all attached and will continue to be whether they like it or not - I hope they end up liking it and that this is just a stage - like when they wanted to wear their Power Rangers outfits all day, every day. They grew out of that - hopefully, this too shall pass.Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-75841522725681484842011-05-04T12:06:00.000-07:002011-05-04T12:17:15.744-07:00What to say what to say, here we go again.<br /><br />My niece just started a blog of her own and it caused me to take a look back at this one. If look at what I've done over the past two years, this is a piss-poor example of blog.<br /><br />I'm using a new software that turns voice and text. It's called Dragon Naturally Speaking. It's pretty cool, but a little cumbersome. I wonder if it will get better the more I use it?<br /><br />All is about the same in my life. Of course, it's baseball season and anyone who has been a follower of mine, which I'm sure you're on now, will remember how my family is obsessed with baseball and that we based our entire summer is not our entire lives around the sport.<br /><br />Well I just wanted to try out the software actually and see if anyone else is still out there and I'll do my best to keep this blog going as best I can. It's strange that since I started using Facebook I don't feel the need to update any longer which is weird because no one really knew personally read my blog anyway, that I know of.<br /><br />I'm going to get back to work now. I've spent enough time fussing with the software it would be great if I could get it to work mobile-ly, so that I can update my blog during my commute.<br /><br />See y'all later,<br />ShannonNot so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-49044088009792932632010-10-29T14:30:00.000-07:002010-10-29T14:40:54.330-07:00The WeekendDarrell took Colby hunting this weekend, DJ is spending time with friends (not hunting, thanks to a couple of girls who shall remain nameless) and Sonya is going to Six Flags tomorrow with her friend and will spend all night. That means, wait for it......I will have the house completely to myself for several hours if not at least one full day. YIPPEE!!!<br /><br />I plan to do a whole lotta nothin'! Watch TV - finish the Sookie Stackhouse book I'm reading right now - do a little homework - eat - lounge with the cat & dog. Really nothing worth mentioning. I'm hoping to just let my brain rest. And hopefully, I'll be able to come up with a plan to get my ass in gear to make some changes in my life.<br /><br />I'm so damned tired all the time and I know it's because I've gained so much weight. I can't seem to drop it - I don't really think it has much to do with my diet (though it's not the greatest) but more to do with the fact that I just don't move. Having a sedentiary job and driving 3 hours each day doesn't do wonders for ass expansion!!! Or whole body expansion for that matter. I think this extra weight is causing me to feel crappy and I'm sick of it.<br /><br />I cannot get up in the morning. I stay up too late and it's a vicious circle. I get up late, get to work late, leave work late, get home late, fix dinner late, clean up late and go to bed late - I'm constantly racing with the clock and I feel like a hampster on an exercise wheel! I hope to get everything done for the week by Sunday and start the week fresh with meals planned, groceries bought & put away, laundry done & put away, yada, yada, yada - then I wonder how my week will go. I think it will go swimmingly!<br /><br />I started following a new blog describing Shay Kelly's project to visit all 50 states in 50 weeks and donate 200 canned goods a week to the homeless. She's doing some other things too and <a href="http://www.shaykelley.com/">this website </a>will tell you all about it. Anyway - she said this is the trick to setting goals...<br /><br />Goals should be...<br />Specific<br />Measurable<br />Attainable<br />Revisable<br />Timely<br />Challenging<br /><br />If you hit 80% of your goal - it is a good goal - anything less and it's too hard, anything more and it's too easy. I'm gonna try to develop some goals this weekend - for weight management, exercise and time management. I'll keep you informed on how things go.Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-6706385493926823972010-10-27T10:13:00.000-07:002010-10-27T10:26:32.126-07:00Random Word Generator - ConcludeAhem, ahem. So, I really want to be a writer someday so I think I need to start practicing more. A friend of mine told me to just write 500 words a day - sort of a beginning exercise, so that's what I'm gonna use my blog for - for awhile. Just see if I can get this thing off the ground, you know?<br /><br />I sat down to write - nothing. Nuthin', not-a-thang came to mind, so I went to this online word generator thing - the word I got - conclude. Hmmm, how do I write a blog about the word conclude. Here goes.<br /><br />I very seldom ever conclude anything I begin. I am forever deciding that I would be a better person if I only would (insert random idea here), eat right, exercise more, write daily, get up early, stay up late, make a list, destroy the list, you get it. I go on and on and never really get anything accomplished. <br /><br />Lately, I've been thinking about my death - I know, morbid - but it's who I am. I'm 40 and I've lost a couple of friends lately - one of whom was my best friend in high school and we were almost the exact same age (-5days) and I've been asking myself - what if I died tomorrow, what would people say about me? Should I change anything? If my life was over, what would I wish I would have done, said, felt? I'm not sure of the answers to those questions, but I can say I'm not done living and *this* is not all there is. I sure as hell hope not anyway.<br /><br />I feel like I'm racing through each day, week, year to get to something.....but what? It's back to that "I'll be a better, happier, (whatever) person when I (insert randome thing here). I've got to stop telling myself that I'll be a better person and I'll be a happier person and just start doing those things. I want to live now, not wait until I have more money, or my kids are grown or I'm retired. I have to start living now - doing things I want to do, that make me happy. <br /><br />If others want to join me, they are welcome, but I'm going to stop putting my ideas, desires, needs on the back burner to follow someone else around while they live their lives - this includes hubby and kids. I want to be in their lives, but I want them to be in mine as well. I want them to know me (I don't think they do right now) and maybe follow me around sometimes.<br /><br />So, to conclude this post, I'll be a much better person as soon as I start living my life - and that starts now.Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-32614641565355617832010-10-18T14:44:00.000-07:002010-10-18T14:57:55.396-07:00Another BeginningDear Blog - I'm so sorry I've neglected you for so long! I'm gonna try this again. I have a friend on facebook that started a new blog and I've so enjoyed reading hers that I thought I'd give it another shot. So here goes...<br /><br />All is well in my household - or as well as it could be, I suppose. I don't foresee any big changes in the future - so I guess we're all good.<br /><br />Heather is engaged to Wesley. They've been dating for a year now and he gave her a ring and proposed on their 1 year anniversary. They're planning to have a long engagement and I'm glad - I want her to get her degree and make sure she is able to take advantage of her youth in a way that I didn't. I'm realizing more and more every day though that what I want for her and what she decides to do are far apart sometimes and I have to let her make her own mistakes and make the decisions she feels are best for her life, even if I "know" they're gonna come back to bite her in the end.<br /><br />DJ is a senior in high school and just itching to be a "grown up". Why in the hell would anyone want to do that? Being a grown up sucks eggs, seriously! Thinking about Senior stuff, announcements for graduation, senior pics, etc. He's in a little trouble right now regarding some girl drama, but I'm hoping he'll come out on the other side a little wiser than he went in. We'll see if he can learn from his mistakes.<br /><br />Colby's 14th birthday is Thursday. Not sure what we'll do for him. We always have big get togethers, but this year, I don't know. Money is tight, so there's no big party - maybe we'll just invite some friends to play baseball - he usually likes that, but girls have entered the picture, so I'm not sure what he'll want.<br /><br />Sonya is 11 and on her own path. She doesn't really need anyone except for the basic life requirements - she's pretty sure of herself, can take matters into her own hands, and makes decisions pretty well for herself. I'm not sure if this is all good though because sometimes I just want her to be my little girl and sometimes I get darned right pissed at the way she acts, but that is so with all of my children.<br /><br />My husband, Darrell, is struggling with his body shop. He hasn't had much business and his heart just isn't in it. He really wants to get a "real" job and I'd be glad for that too. Not only for the financial stability, but also for the interaction he would have with others. I think he spends too much time alone up in that garage and sometimes I think it makes him a little batty - and hard to be around. We'll keep looking and hopefully a good opportunity will come along.<br /><br />I'm finishing up my last two classes for my undergrad degree. I'm excited but know I'll probably end up moving on for my masters. I'm a lifetime learner:)<br /><br />Just a quick note about how much fun I had this weekend with my sister, Shelly & my nephew & niece, Jacob & Madison. They went to Six Flags with me, Colby & Sonya and Shelly & I laughed our heads off. We all had a good time and of course, vowed to get together more often. We really need to do that. My sister and I talk on the phone usually every day, but I miss that face-to-face contact with her. And I really want my kids to be close to their cousins - and her kids don't have that much family - so I want them to have the opportunity to have close family.<br /><br />Had a baby shower for my niece Sarah yesterday. It was a little awkward but our family get togethers are becoming more and more like that lately, it's sad. I hate that this side of the family is going through some adjustment, but I feel I just cannot keep my mouth shut to keep the peace any longer and I feel strongly that I have to let others know how I feel or I can only blame myself for feeling crapped on. So there - a little cryptic - but you know how family is...<br /><br />Until next time (hopefully, not a year)...Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-27732083302767525402009-07-21T14:44:00.000-07:002009-07-21T14:50:09.475-07:00Summer StuffColby is a district champion once again!!! His team won the 12-year-old district this past weekend. We are headed to state in Cape Girardeau this weekend and if we win that, it's on to Nebraska. He has dreams of the Little League World Series in Maryland this year - we shall see...<br /><br />Sonya left to spend a few days with Heather today. She and my niece Maddi, went to Columbia to stay in Heather's apartment with her. My hubby is beside himself with worry, he just knows SOMETHING will happen to her. They all promised to be SAFE< SAFE< SAFE = Lord, please keep them near and safe on all of their journeys this week.<br /><br />Gosh, the summer is just flying by, isn't it? My kids start school again in only a few short weeks, then it's back to the old routine. I've been enjoying getting up and leaving the house within a few minutes each morning. That sure won't happen when they all go back to school.<br /><br />I've been using this Jergen's lotion on my arms & legs lately - the kind that has a little darker tone to it. I don't want to go to a tanning bed and I am rarely in the sun, but my fat looks alot better brown than it does white, so I'm schmearing this stuff in every chance I get. I find that as long as I mix it together with a little regular lotion, I don't have any streaks at all. It is really making a difference.Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-74637254599485513632009-07-16T06:40:00.000-07:002009-07-16T06:50:27.316-07:00Finally, A New PostWell, I'm back...<br /><br />Work has slowed down a little and when I say that I mean my to-do list has gone from 6 pages down to 3. I still should be working instead of blogging, but hey, ya gotta have a little fun, right?<br /><br />Everybody is good. Heather is still in Columbia, DJ is 16 and has taken over the road, Colby is heading for the district baseball tournament this weekend and has the Little League World Series in his dreams and Sonya wants to move her room to the basement. Same ole, same ole...<br /><br />Funny story...<br /><br />I won a gift certificate for a haircut at a fancy salon last year and made an appt. It was a fun experience, the guy played around with my hair for awhile, "getting to know it" and then gave me a pretty decent haircut. He was disgusted that I still had some old perm in it from a few years back and when he cut it out, he declared "There! Now thanks to the metal eraser (scissors) you'll never have to admit to having had a perm again!" OK, what about all my high school pictures that are all teeth and hair - I'm not willing to take the metal eraser to those just yet:)<br /><br />So, I liked the haircut and decided to go back. When I did, I was a little shell shocked when I found out his haircuts were $50. Fifty bucks may not sound like a lot to some of you, but trust me, when you're used to getting haircuts at Sam's (Walmart) Salon for $12, you're a little flabbergasted to find out you owe $50 plus tip!!! I paid it and thought to myself - unless this haircut makes me look 20 pounds lighter, I ain't comin' back!<br /><br />I went to my little hometown beauty parlor (yes, we still call them parlors in Potosi) to get a body wave (I'm sorry, I'm a product of the 80's and I hate my hair unless it's at least a little poofy!) and I told her about my experience with the fancy-schmancy salon. She found the story comical and as she was looking down at my head said "Oh, you have a tick in your head, let me get it out for you! That's the 2nd tick I've found on someone this week!" <br /><br />Now...what do you think the hairdresser to the STL society would have done if he had found that tick in my head????? I'm just sayin' - I think I'll be stickin' with DeDe's Hair Biz from now on:)<br /><br />Yep, I'm back.Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-52379415075209078292009-03-31T10:43:00.000-07:002009-03-31T10:46:32.931-07:00Ahhhh! Freetime - what's that?One day soon I'll get back to this blog. I have lots of interesting stuff to blog about like how DJ got his license & Heather got hers 1 week later, like how Heather moved into her first apartment, like how we had two bday parties in one weekend and our home was in even more chaos than it normally is, etc, etc, etc.<br /><br />But my job if freakin' kickin' my ass lately. I mean I am having to work harder now that I've had to since I started and I am totally not liking it at all. I used to have so much time to surf the net and do all sorts of fun little quizzes, etc, but now, I barely have time to read my daily blogs! <br /><br />Of course, I'm happy to have a job and happy to have tasks that need to be completed so I'll quit bitching, I'm just sayin'.....<br /><br />I'll be back:)Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8702287743941185647.post-12838923000180912372009-03-05T08:51:00.000-08:002009-03-05T09:05:03.021-08:00Sonya's StoryI found this story in my daughter's bookbag and it says by Sonya. I knew she was growing up, but Holy Cow. Could this have honestly been written by a 9 year old? What do you think this says about her and about our family? Am I being silly to wonder what would make her write something like this? I've left all the punctuation and spelling just as she had it.<br /><br />Don't Leave Me<br /><br />Mama "I'm sorry" I remember saying the day my mother was beat to death with that slick leather belt. Tears rolling down my cheeks as I looked at the scared back and saw my very own mother lying down dead. "She was just trying to help me" I screamed at are master he tapped me on my shoulder as a warning to quit this nonsense. "Get back to work" he screamed at me in loud ear poinding voice. I started to pick the corn still crying in a soft voice.<br /><br />I am a 13 year old girl still trying to clear my mind of the so called accident as my master called it. Now I am free in the north living in Canada. I am a best corn picker in the North just as I was in the cruel South. Mama would be so proud things would be a lot easier if she was around but it's just me and Papa. I remember when there was one of the biggest Dust Storms in the whole South, boy it takes me way back.<br /><br />"There is definitely going to be some strong North winds so you might want to stay in since it hasn't rained in months" I heard the man on the radio say. Then I heard a soft voice say, "I'm scared Henry. He has grown meaner" I loved the way Mama spoke in her soft southern voice. But I got real scared too, Then the next day the tragic heart pounding death came.<br /><br />I looked out the window and saw my Papa shake hands with a Southern man. It frightened me inside. Second's later papa entered our home. He said that I am 13 years old and ready to be on my own I felt the tears coming along, I got accepted into the grand corn picking association I'm going to have to leave you. No no no" I wailed. "I already lost Mama and I don't want to lose you to". I soon realized that he had to go. I screamed I love you daddy and I always will!! He started crying too and we just started are own balling club. For some reason I felt like Mama's death wasn't my fault, I realized it was destiny for her to die. If I hadn't ever swam across the lake and nearly drowned I would have never grew as close to my dad as felt now. His soft hand rubbed my back and he told me everything would be ok. "Ill come back for you". Those were the last words I ever heard from my Papa again.Not so evil Shenaniganshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04746291266566044506noreply@blogger.com4